14 September 2011


Last night I had a dream that my mom didn't die 13 years ago (the end of this month) but instead she was in a coma all that time... and all of a sudden she woke up and was back to her normal self, and I was so excited because I really wish I got the chance to know my mom and to know her today- on an adult level (I think we'd have a lot in common... and we look just alike except I'm blonde). So I'm not exactly sure where we were in the dream, but we were with a lot of people and at a place with a lot of BIG rolling hills that remind me of Italy. The house we were staying in had a couple of floors and her "spot" was down in the basement. So I went down there to see what she was doing and to say goodbye because I was supposed to go with some friends on a bus ride somewhere and she said she was going with her friend (or boyfriend?) on a jeep ride and asked me to go with her. Of course I couldn't say no to spending time with my mom! So we hopped in the top-less jeep (the jeep was top-less, not us) and went on a ride exploring the huge hills and the mountains- off of the main roads. All of a sudden this guy decided to turn to go down another road but he didn't realize the drop-off. It wasn't much but it was enough to cause the jeep to go sliding down the hill and we ended up in a muddy river that was really deep. I was able to jump out of the jeep before it went under but my mom, the guy, and the other passenger were quickly swept under the current still in the car. I tried running after them where the water was shallow and I was able to grab a foot but all I got was a shoe... and then they were gone. I remember walking back to the center of town into a restaurant where the man apparently used to be the manager (ugh and they said his name but I forgot) and then they told me (in Romanian, actually) that he no longer worked there (and when I woke up I remembered the word they used, but now I forgot it). So I walked out of the restaurant sobbing uncontrollably to a movie theater that was next door and I was going to walk in, unsure of what to do next, when I woke up... feeling as though I had just finished struggling for breath because of crying so hard.

I'm so happy to have seen my mom... but I could have done without the rest. It's kind of put me in a "funk" for the start of this morning.

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