Competition

I entered my first ever photo competition... with the chance to win at most $10000, and if I get the most "likes" then I can win $2500. Unfortunately I submitted rather late, so I don't think I'll get the "likes" I'd "like". But if you'd like to vote, please do. I'm not quite sure when the voting ends.

Wood and cats

No, the wood has nothing to do with the cat...

But I will tell you that chopping wood is much harder to do than it looks. Trust me. I tried it (and succeeded, mind you... but not very well).

...and how is it that cats always seem to find the best places to sleep? This is the barrel where my host family makes our wine ("Obviously it will be cleaned out before we make the wine" said my host mom). You can see that she loves cats... ha.

Headstands

When talking with my almost 85 year-old Great Aunt on Facebook today, I asked her if she's done any headstands lately because, of the many other things I remember about her while growing up, the memory of her headstands at 60+ years old stands out the most. She said she hasn't tried it in awhile so I told her that it's a very popular yoga move and it helps relieve anxiety and stress. Her response? What anxiety and stress? I don't have either. Nothing to worry about and that's a fact.

She rocks. I hope to be like her when I'm 85! But at the rate I'm going... I'm doomed. HA!

Inspiration

A friend from high school who I have really hardly spoken to since high school started messaging me today to catch up. She's said so many great things, but in the midst of all of my thoughts about the future, this is what truly hit home:

You have to dream bigger. You're so worth it! ... you have to have the self-esteem in order for your work to get there.

And... she's right. Maybe I should have listened to my sister all of those years when she adopted the motto "dream big" to apply to herself.

toilet paper and stubbornness

Two things.

One. Yesterday I dropped a brand new roll of toilet paper into the veceu (outhouse). Now, to most of you this probably isn't a big deal. I mean, it's a toilet paper roll. But, you see, this is what I've been worried about doing since the first time I stepped into a veceu for some odd reason I can't really explain... and who knows... next could be my phone, my shoes, my pride...

Which brings me to Two.

I'm stubborn. In fact, pretty stubborn. And the more people tell me they expect me to quit my 2 years in Moldova early, the more determined I am to make it. We lost two PCV's last week and another is on the way out due to a recent medical diagnosis... and I'm projected to be one of the next. Well, friends... let me tell you something: keep telling me I'm going to leave because any sort of encouragement helps fuel the fire that will totally keep me here because I'm stubborn and I don't like people telling me what to do (or what I'm going to do).

Transitions

One of my friends pointed out something the other day about me that I'd never really put together before: I don't like transitions.

And it's true... whether it's referring to waiting at an airport to board a plane for a new destination, to the beginning of a new school year, to getting over a love lost, to beginning a new chapter in my life... I just don't like them... so it doesn't surprise me that I have made a long list of "what to do after Peace Corps" that doesn't make any sense to anyone but me. On the list I have things like opening a café/art gallery in Kansas City, a yoga ashram, teach at an International school, continue my portrait photography business, writing a book, doing all of the above at the same time, nanny abroad... etc. So all of the ideas are great (and trust me when I say there are MANY more I have listed), but then the panic kicks in when I begin to think about where to do all of the above. I mean, if it's not one thing it's another, right? Eff this.

But thankfully I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (I'm sure you've read it... and if you haven't, you should) and it's kind of putting things into perspective. In fact, it feels like I'm her... trying to get over a relationship but just not ready to let go, having an itch to travel and make a change, and looking for the peace within myself (I was recently, with nothing but good intentions told I have a tendency to get "crazy" and no, that doesn't mean party crazy... it means there is a giant mess in my head that I can't quite sort out). So eventually in my list making I got to a point where I wrote this (without the asterisks):

F*** it, just GO.

Maybe if I take this route one of those doors that are always open but seem just out of reach will finally come into my grasp and I will be able to grab the handle and open it. I mean, as much as I say I don't like transitions (and, really, I don't)... that might be the best thing for me to do.

In the meantime I just have to wait one more week and my dad will be in Moldova. That is a transition I am GREATLY looking forward to... but his leaving? Not so much.

vivid dreams

Lately I've been having ridiculously vivid dreams.... and usually they're not happy. But the weather is hot and sunny so when I wake up it's all okay again.

Last night, though, I had one of those dreams where it was the first day of school but I wasn't at my school in Varatic, but I was in another country because the people there didn't speak English. I was supposed to be teaching but no one was there to tell me what classes I was teaching, when, or where... and everyone was passing around me and I was so lost and confused. Then the bell rang and I got on a traditional yellow school bus and all of my students then spoke English and had me sit with them, and even made room even though there wasn't a place. After it took what seemed like an hour, all we had done was a giant circle around the school because there was snow and that's where all the busses were going. At that point I was frustrated so I had them stop near a grocery store so I could go buy food and walk home, since it only took me 15 minutes to walk home. When I went in the store I didn't buy anything, but instead I made guacamole right then and there in the store and had some guy taste it but it really wasn't good... and I was trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the limes and the avocado since they go by weight (you see, I'd never steal anything). I guess I was just super hungry which is why I made it in the store... and then I woke up.

Weird. I know.